THE CLINTUCKY KOOZIE

Because warm beer is for quitters.

There are moments in life when you need insulation.

Your house. Your attic. Your emotional response to the group chat.

And most importantly, your beer.

The Clintucky Koozie is built to keep your drink cold, your hand dry, and your beverage clearly identifiable after Glenn starts walking around asking, “Is this mine?” while holding a completely different beer.

Made with a durable polyester exterior and soft foam liner, it hugs your can like Glenn hugs everyone after his sixth beer—tightly, unnecessarily, and for slightly too long.

The full-wrap Clintucky print makes it easy to spot in the wild, whether you're at a tailgate, on the dock, around a fire, golfing poorly, fishing worse, or standing in someone's kitchen at 1:17 a.m. having a conversation that absolutely did not need to happen.

And unlike your friends, this thing actually knows when to keep its mouth shut.

KOOZIE SPECS

• 100% polyester exterior — durable enough for whatever the hell we're doing tonight
• Soft foam liner keeps your drink cold and your delicate little hands comfortable
• Full-coverage, edge-to-edge Clintucky print
• Lightweight, collapsible, and easy to shove somewhere you'll forget about
• Available for Regular and Slim cans
• Regular: 3.5" × 4.3"
• Slim: 3.5" × 6"
• Bright, crisp printing so everyone can clearly identify the evidence
• Helps prevent condensation rings on furniture you weren't worried about until someone yelled at you

CARE INSTRUCTIONS

Wipe it down with a damp cloth and let it air dry.

If your koozie requires more serious cleaning than that, whatever happened is between you, Glenn, and God.

Perfect for beer, seltzers, tailgates, boats, docks, golf carts, fishing trips, bonfires, bachelor parties, cookouts, and “one quick drink” that ends with four grown men trying to move a refrigerator.

Keep your beer cold. Keep Glenn away from it.